Over the past two weeks, I’ve had to use my Wife’s Explorer due to my job. I’ve been listening to a lot of Howard Stern on Sirius and her Nickelback CD. One song on there I really like is “Rockstar”. Which brings me to some work philosophy. Here are the top three jobs in the world, in order.

1. Rockstar: Get paid big money to act like a deplorable human being and score tons of hot chicks. Doesn’t get any better than that.

2. Pro athlete: Get paid ridiculous amounts of money to play a game, possibly hurt other people and score tons of hot chicks.

3. Successful radio DJ - Get paid good money, expected to act like a jerk and have groupies.

Jobs one and two usually come with a trophy Wife who looks the other way at your behavior because she’s gravy training the lifestyle.

Neckcar season is about to start, and while I don’t follow it, I can’t imagine all the Necks are easy on the fans of the Viagra car..Let’s face we can all use it, who wouldn’t want a little better performance? Seriously, lots of guys use it, I know, because I hear it from the pharmacist at work, but there is still a stigma attached to it. Not man enough…hell, it will make the old lady happy, that should qualify as Superman, not man enough. I have friends who swear by the “Blue Genie”, so maybe I should try it…?

One of my life long dreams is to own and ride a motorcycle. Usually I get the fever really strong in the fall and spring. Imagine how cool it would be to ride in Florida with your shades, helmet, gloves and motorcycle sunglasses. One day I’ll be crusing the beach or the back roads and realize how relaxing Florida should be.

Wife and I were discussing possible plans for Valentine’s Day last night. Being a guy, I know that this is a contrived Hallmark holiday, but I suck it up and deal with it for my wife. It’s what men do. YOU will be a much happier guy if you buy your Wife or the chick in your life a card and a gift. Trust me. Speaking of gifts, the Wife is always dropping hints for jewerly. Specifically, diamond jewelry. She’s even let me know what an acceptable size and style is. What she doesn’t know is that I’ve already been doing some shopping on my own, and I’ve found a coupon website to help me, and it had Diamond.com coupon codes. 20% off is nothing to sneeze at!

I know Wife will be happy with whatever she gets, even if it is not sparkly.

It’s Super Bowl week (oops, am I allowed to say that?), err Big Game week, and I am already sick of hearing the stories about the teams and players. I love to watch the game, but one thing I wish they would do away with is the concerts at half time. I really do not need that. The game is the entertainment, and usually the half time act sucks or is over hyped. The only good act of recent memory was the “Great” Shania Twain. She’s hot. However, the opening act before her happened to be No Doubt with Gwen Stefani. No contest here, Gwen blew her off the stage. No only is Gwen way hotter, she actually sang live, whereas, Shania turned in a horrible lip sync job.

Here’s something I thought was interesting that I recently heard. Did you know that in some states you have to have permit to carry or buy a Taser Stun Gun, or Mace, but you do not need a permit to buy a gun. That just sounds bizarre. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for guns and the right to bear arms. However, I am not allowed to have them in the house, because that is the one fight with the wife that I can not win. But I digress.

I just does not seem logical to allow some one to buy a lethal weapon such as a pistol or shotgun with out a permit, but they must have permit to buy something like mace? Let’s be honest, I think most people who buy guns “for protection” are really buying them so they have the chance to kill some one who desperately needs to be killed. If some jackass gets around your home security system and breaks into your home, you should be allowed to use as much force as you want to protect yourself. You’ve got to assume if someone is in your house without your permission, they mean to harm you. Especially in this day and age. If someone is carrying mace, pepper spray, or a stun gun, I do not think they have killing someone in mind. I would think the State would rather a person stun or mace someone, than kill them. What’s the worst that can happen to someone getting maced, a little eye damage? Too bad, you should not have been attacking some chick in a parking lot. A little high voltage shock? Again, you get what you asked for. But double-tapping someone with your Glock 9, while warranted, might not be necessary. What is the message here? Kill, Kill, Kill.

I’ve blogged a bit about Belisi before, and their fashions and sites for men and women. Now Belisi asks, "What’s Beautiful to You?", and he’s giving away a $100 gift card to his favorite essays, because fashion isn’t the only thing that’s beautiful. I listen to a lot of sports talk radio and with the recent decline of the Tampa Bay Bucs, there has been a lot of talk about how beautiful their Super Bowl victory was and if they would ever get there again. I think it would be great, but I have some other ideas of what would be beautiful. The Bucs winning the Super Bowl again, but with a different head coach (can you say Bill Cowher) Seeing the Lightning win another Stanley Cup would be beautiful, especially if I was at game 7, like I was when they won their Stanley Cup. Going to Las Vegas and not losing my ass in roulette, like I did in November, would be beautiful. Owning a Monet print would be beautiful (of course this is dreamland.) Taking the family to Europe would be beautiful. Seeing my kids graduate college would be beautiful. My kids making it to marriage before bearing any children would be awesome. Being married to the Wife and living a retirement would be beautiful, especially doing the cool stuff we can’t do now!

I’ve got to go on a rant here. Let me just say as a blanket statement, chicks don’t know how to handle relationships. By relationships I mean, non-sexual, strictly friend relationships. In my professional and personal life, I am around a lot of different women. Recently, I heard, or rather was included in the conversation about how so and so did this and I took exception to it, blah, blah, blah. You know what, if you had a problem with what so and so did, go to so and so about. Especially if you think of that person as a friend. Rather than handling it through second hand sources, just say it. Don’t wring your hands over what to do and whether or not someone will get upset. Guess what, that someone is probably already upset, so put it out there and clear the air or end it. That’s a difference between guys and chicks. For instance, if one of my boys is having a night of cards, Ultimate Fighting and nudie bars and I didn’t hear about it, I’m not going to be upset or bat an eye. A chick would be all bent and read way too much into it. Furthermore, a guy would say what’s up. Example, a while back, I sensed some tension between a buddy of mine, and finally I was talking to him on the phone and just said “dude, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are we cool.” And he understood. Get it out there or get over it. If you’re not going to confront it or try to solve it, move on and don’t bitch about it. The simple life, It’s Good to be a Man.

Friday was one of those days at work that sucks. I felt like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I mean, it’s a dog eat dog world and my shorts were made of milkbones. I work in retail, and today was just one of those days that went south as soon as I walked through the doors…

Wife talked me into watching a show she DVR’ed a few nights ago. I think it was the series premier of 30 Rock starring Tina Fey from SNL. She said I’d love the show, she thought it was hilarious. Here’s my take. Begrudgingly, the show was funny. Even worse, one of the funniest parts was that pablum puking liberal, Alec Baldwin. But make no mistakes, this show sucks without Tracy Morgan. There in lies the problem. Television does not need another show about nothing, Seinfeld already went there and proved it sucks. Unless this show intends to just let Morgan run amuck all season, it will prove unwatchable. Tina Fey definitely pulls off the hot in the Lisa Loeb, man hating, but wants to get hammered like a nail sort of way, but unless she plans on going to gentleman’s clubs with Morgan every episode, she will flounder. They might be able to mix in her watching an “art film” with Morgan and his crew. Bon Chance!